Disclaimer: Giles and Xander belong to Joss, yada, yada, yada. They’re not mine.

Author's Note: I have a certain squeamishness about writing words to describe sexual organs. There are only a few that I use too often. I decided to use other terms, but I have to turn it into a running joke with sarcastic remarks in parentheses. I hope they’re funny.

"Giles!" Xander whined and cradled his head in his hands. "What am I going to do?"

Giles raised his eyes from the book he was trying to read, with annoyance. Xander had been pouring his adolescent heart out to the Watcher for the past hour and it was beginning to be quite tiresome, to say the least. Xander was supposed to be helping to research on Mr. Trick. That dirty, little vamp had been in Sunnydale for the past two months and Giles was still unable to find anything on him, damnit!

"Cordy won't even talk to me and I feel really bad 'cause all I can think about is Willow. And Willow's been spending all this time begging Oz to forgive her," Xander paused to moan and let his head fall into his arms on the large, oak table. "Oh, I might as well retreat into the utter darkness of total confusion," Xander groaned, his voice slightly muffled.

"Do you know why your so confused, Xander?" Giles asked blandly. Xander looked up at Giles with sad, puppy dog eyes. He nodded slowly. "Because, Xander, you are a dumbass." Giles concluded.

"Hey!" Xander said and sat straight up in his chair. "I resemble that remark."

"And do want to know why you're a dumbass, Xander?" Giles continued. He didn't wait for a response. "Because you won't admit to yourself who you really are."

"And who is that, Giles? 'Cause I'm not sure anymore," Xander said in a hysterical voice.

Giles pushed his chair back and impatiently circled the table to perch in front of Xander. "Jesus man, use your head, and this time I'm not referring to the one that contains that desolate wasteland that you call a brain," Giles said angrily. "You don't care about Cordelia or Willow, or Buffy for that matter."

"Giles, what are you talking about? You know that I care about them. There the only people I have in this world," Xander said in confusion.

"Oh, sure," Giles began, "you care about them, but not in the way you lead yourself to believe. Do you think I never noticed the sexual tension between you and Angel? It wasn't Angel you were jealous of. It was Buffy." Giles crossed his arms over his chest and waited for a response. There wasn't one for a long moment.

Finally, Xander opened his mouth to speak. "Giles, what are you trying to say?"

Giles threw his hands up in exasperation. "Let me explain this to you in three little words that even you would have to understand. You are gay," Giles said, enunciating those three words with exaggeration. Then he sat back and waited for a reaction again.

At first, Xander just blinked his eyes rapidly. Then he began to shake his head 'no', frantically. "No, Giles. I am not gay!" he finally denied.

"Oh please, Xander," Giles said and rolled his eyes. "I've had my fair share of men. I think I know a gay man when I see one."

Xander gawked up at Giles in disbelief. "Giles, you....you're....but.....but what about Jenny? You can't be gay. You're too proper to be gay," Xander stuttered out.

"No, Xander, I'm not gay. The correct term for a man like me is 'bisexual'," Giles told him.

"No, you can't be," Xander said and stood from his seat. "You're a damn manly man. You reel flaming bats at demons, you wear tweed, you....drink a lot of tea?" Xander contemplated that last argument. "Well, you do like to put things (often small things) in your mouth, but--" Xander stopped short.

Giles let out a long breath and stood up. "I really shouldn't be doing this, but I have been quite the sexual Samaritan lately."

Then, without another word, Giles grabbed Xander's face in both hands and pulled him into a kiss. Xander was too shocked, at first, to fight it. Then, once the shock had worn off, he found he was enjoying the kiss too much to break it off. Of course, he was scared by the feelings he was having. He was even more scared when he felt Giles' tongue slip into his mouth, but he was also even more excited.

Giles' slid his hands down the sides of Xander's face, then over his trembling chest to move around his waist and finally settle in the small of his back. Only then did Giles pull away from the kiss. Xander sucked his lower lip into his mouth to savor the taste that Giles had left there.

"I take it you've never kissed a man before," Giles said in a low voice. Xander shook his head while he stared at the older man's lips, wishing they were still connected to his own. "It's been a long time for me. I rather enjoyed it," Giles said, but it was already rather apparent from the bulge (would that even be considered a term) that had formed in the front of his pants, a bulge that matched that of Xander's. Giles pushed forward, his hard penis (Pen is? Pen is what, exactly?) nudging against Xander's matching erection(: from the Latin word, erectio. : the act of raising excitement). The sensation nearly drove Xander crazy.

Xander was the one who initiated the kiss this time, his tongue seeking out Giles'. Giles pulled Xander into a tighter embrace, their firm chests pressing together.

Pulling away from their heated embrace, Giles quickly pulled off the shirt that was loosely hanging around Xander's shoulders. The black 69 shirt that was under it was also quickly discarded. Giles stared at Xander's chest, which was becoming more toned since Buffy and Faith had started training him. Giles quickly unbuttoned and pulled off his own tweed vest, but he wasn't patient enough to unbutton the shirt that was under it. Leaning forward, Giles kissed the nook between Xander's neck and shoulder. Sucking and nibbling, Giles slowly worked his way back up to Xander's hungry lips.

Grasping onto Giles' shoulders, Xander backed himself up against the large, oak table, bringing Giles along with him. Giles tried to push Xander down against the table, but Xander resisted. Pushing his hands between them, Xander started to fumble with the buttons on Giles' white dress shirt. He had only gotten three buttons undone when he got impatient and tore the shirt open the rest of the way open, revealing a thick patch of dark chest hair which led down to a thin trail that went further into Giles' waistband.

Giles pulled the shirt down off of his shoulders. Now that they were both completely barechested, Xander allowed himself to be pushed against the flat surface of the table, slightly yelping at the coldness on his back. Giles crawled on to the table and lowered himself on top of Xander. Xander slightly giggled at the tickle of Giles' chest hair against his own chest.

A small smile played at the corner of Giles' lips as he slipped his hand between their bodies to run the palm of his hand over Xander's prominent erection (That doesn't bother me). Xander squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, a low moan escaped his mouth.

When Giles' hand moved to the fly on Xander's pants, his eyes snapped back open. "Giles," Xander said in a hoarse whisper. Giles stopped in his actions to hear what the boy had to say. "I....I'm a virgin."

"I know that, Xander," Giles said and cocked his head to the side. "Don't worry, technically you still will be when we're done." Giles was afraid that he might have to put it in laymen's terms for Xander, which would have been, 'Don't worry. I don't plan on fucking you in the ass.'

When Giles was satisfied that Xander wasn't going to ask for further explanation, he went on to unbutton and unzip Xander's pants. In one hard tug, Giles brought Xander's cargo pants and boxers down around his knees. Giles left them there and turned his full attention to Xander's large, pulsing organ (imagine music notes), and boy it was a sight to see.

Reaching out with his right hand, Giles grasped a firm hold on the shaft (He's one bad motha). He watched himself stroke it, listening to the little moans that were coming from Xander. Giles inched further down the table. Once positioned in a the way that best suited him, Giles flicked his tongue out to lick the tip of Xander's cock (a doodle doo). Xander jumped a little, and Giles grinned before moving his mouth down and around the hard member (of the hair club for sexual organs). Giles bobbed his head up and down, sliding his tongue along the under side in an expert way. Giles let the tip fall out of his mouth so that he could run his lips along it, then stopped to suck Xander's balls (nuts, nads, sack, whatever) into his mouth. Giles continued sucking and teasing Xander's joy stick (happy, happy, joy, joy) until he was at the breaking point. Grabbing the back of Giles' head, Xander bucked his hips forward and came to orgasm. Giles licked all of the semen running out of Xander's cock (I actually love that word, it's so primal, grrrr).

When Xander was done, Giles sat up to watch all of the funny faces that Xander was making. Ignoring his own painful erection, Giles slid up next to Xander and propped his head up on one arm. "Did you and Cordelia never participate in oral sex?" Giles asked Xander who was still struggling with the after-effects of his orgasm.

"Well," Xander said, starting to regain his composure. "Cordy wanted to, but," Xander paused for a moment. "But I thought it was nasty. I didn't want to put my... well, I didn't want to see that (Xander is squeamish about the same things as I am) in her pretty mouth."

"Isn't my mouth pretty?" Giles asked jokingly.

At that note, Xander's head perked up. His eyes focused on Giles' lips and then finally moved down to focus on the bulge in his pants. Rolling over, Xander pushed Giles down onto his back and kissed him. When he broke away he said, "It's very pretty." Then Xander brushed his fingers down the length of Giles chest, they stopped at the button to Giles pants. Xander looked back up into Giles' eyes. "Can I....try?" Xander asked.

Giles took Xander's wrist into his own hand, "I don't think so, Xander," Giles said. "This was for you. I don't want to take...." Xander cut Giles off with another kiss. Freeing his hand from Giles' grasp, he moved his hand to clutch Giles, well um, clutch (hee hee). Giles moaned into Xander's mouth, his resistance already dissipated. Xander undid Giles' pants to pull out his stiff rod (Ouch!)

When he saw the size of Giles' manhood (Of course, size is a symbol of manhood), Xander's eyes widened and he licked his lips. Moving down over Giles, Xander slowly engulfed the head (Not the one that contains a brain). Slipping further down till he reached the base (awwww yeah), Xander almost choked himself. He wouldn’t try taking it all again, but he continued. Mimicking Giles' actions, Xander started to tease Lil' Giles (if you could call it lil'). Not wanting to draw it out any more, Xander bobbed up and down in swift motions.

Giles was obviously about to come and Xander was faced with a decision to make. < Spit or swallow, hmmmm what shall I do? >Xander decided that since Giles had swallowed eagerly, that he could also do it. And he did. Giles grabbed a hold of Xander's head (the one with the brain, I guess ), and shot his juices into the boy's mouth. Xander was surprised that it didn't taste nasty, as he had it expected it to.

After that, Xander crawled up to lay next to Giles, resting his head on his chest. After a few comfortable moments of silence, Xander said it. "I'm still not gay."